shattering

I see you with her
so tender
so indescribably sweet

love pours from every fiber of your being
a miracle before my eyes
I ache with regret
all the way to my soul

those precious little moments break me
a million pieces
scattered in every conceivable direction
you are so in love with her

and I…

I have missed my chance to swim in the ecstacy of every coo
to marvel at each imperceptible milestone

I missed your first kiss – off chasing dragons

that’s the price I pay for being too selfish
or maybe too sick
to notice tender moments incubating miracles
the price when
from conception
a child is an inconvenience

I didn’t even know what I was missing

I do now.

my only salvation
is to feel this exquisite heartbreak
writhing between longing and ecstasy
knowing that this shattering
is that love

 

Photo credit: http://photobucket.com/images/eyes%20crying%20blood

Five

Life creeps in around me

and I weep

I feel out of place

disconnected

my own star, dim by comparison.

the collective looks so beautiful

there in its other world –

colors twirling, unfurling, embracing

cracks in the wall

even the ones that enclose me.

eyes down in grief,

transformative beauty before me;

the evolution that would happen

should I raise my glance

to meet its eye

aye, face down

I weep

and life creeps in around me.

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image credit: Shadowscapes Tarot